redfox and drunkard.

20060925
12:09

my mind really works at night. at a time like this, 1203hrs, i juz cant key my thots down. and at times like 12 hrs later, 0003hrs, my mind will b hyperactive. tt healped a lot in keeping me awake all nite long. i slept at ard 3 last nite. i wasn't reading, there were no good shows on tv, listened to still fantasy twice. like the conclusion me n ham came to, jay's song r always nice. i dun even want to listen before buying the album. well, back to wat's stirring my brain juice... i cant recall much... but i can try...

money: wat i earned is wat i spent. no more emergency clubbing funds. gotta stretch out my hands for pocket money when my sch term starts. nv planned to study, if not for their constant nagging. i juz cant take it. if studying makes them feel better then so be it. i'll still work. but i juz wanna work in the nite scene... u see things u dun get to see in the day, coz the dark side has taken over.

girls: watched the banquet wif michelle at causeway point. it juz brings back memories. it juz sparked me to miss her, suddenly. there's a ger who wants to be wif me. but i refused to. coz i noe. it's not love. she'll juz be filling up tt gap in my heart. it's unfair to her. gotta wait for tt gap to recover before i can present my heart again. it's juz too ugly now. i cant commit without expecting something in return. not like the past. i can spend 3 to 4 hours waiting without grumpling or even show a sign of dissatisfaction. spent those hours wandering. spent those hours sitting down. spent those hours worrying. dun tink i can b so tolerant now. or maybe no one had shown her worth, yet.

frenz: suddenly i haf no frenz. dam's in scdf. black's in sispec. jj's bz wif work. monk's wif gene. all my other dear frenz aren't within my reach. u noe, u need some ammunition to hit long range targets. ammo depleted, contact broken. i'm so dependent on msn now. it's seems like e onli tool for me to keep in contact wif my frenz. n of coz sms. juz had a sms conversation wif her last nite. all the 3 letter syncronyms. wtf.

how i wish i could blog in the wee hours. my brain juz works differently. izzit a split personality? cant the 2 fish work together at the same time?

-redfox & drunkard lived again-